As you get older you will be getting into more personal and intense relationships. These relationships can turn bad very quickly if someone is trying to control the whole relationship. It is important to know what makes a healthy and unhealthy relationship so here we have a few things for you to think about. Relationships aren't always easy but they are crucial to your development into adulthood so you should work on having as many positive relationships as you can.
What makes a healthy relationship?
Mutual Respect - You and your boyfriend/girlfriend should respect each others views and boundaries. This sort of respect is shown through valuing them for who they are. It is crucial that this respect in your partner is shown both ways.
Honesty & Trust - This is a key part of all relationships and go hand-in-hand with each other. If there's no trust then there's no way you can have a completely healthy relationship and if there's no honesty then there's likely to be no trust. While jealousy is often a natural reaction to seeing your boyfriend/girlriend having fun with someone else, it's how you control you're jealousy that matters. It is important to be honest and trusting of your partner if you want your relationship with them to succeed.
Independence - Sometimes you need to have your own space away from the relationship as you don't want to lose your own personal identity. When you first started the relationship you had your own friends, family, hobbies and aspirations. Now that you're in a relationship this shouldn't mean that you should forget about these things. Activities away from your partner with your friends are important to being in a healthy relationship as it's important to realise that the relationship shouldn't completely control your life.
Communication - All relationships need good communication. A healthy relationship means that you say what you feel even if you think it's not necessarily what your boyfriend/girlfriend wants to hear. If you have concerns then you should be able to voice them. A good partner would not stop you from expressing yourself.
What makes an unhealthy relationship?
An unhealthy relationship is based on power and control rather than equality and respect. At the start you may not think that certain behaviours are a big deal or something you should be worried about. However, behaviours of: insults, yelling, jealous accusations and behaviours which involve physical, emotional or mental abuse are all exertions of control and are signs your partner is trying to take the power in the relationship. Ultimately it shows that the relationship is not equal and therefore not healthy.
If you are in an abusive relationship you should think about breaking up with that person and/or getting in touch with a local agency to discuss with you about the relationship. Remember abuse is never okay in a relationship and that you deserve to be respected.